It's not a high and noble dream like Martin Luther King...but still...it's my dream. It's certainly not the same dream I had five years ago. Back then I would have given my right arm to be in the Christian music industry. I would have bet my life that was the calling God had placed on me. So many things have happened since then, namely a "bigger than me" confrontation with the Lord. It was my "Jacob" moment. The moment when I finally stopped wrestling with God...the moment that He "marked" me forever so that I would never forget it!
So, I died to that dream...and when I did I saw other God-given gifts in my life that He chose to foster. He has provided me ample opportunities to use these gifts and I've taken each one! He really has blessed me...and now - I feel that the crossroads is in the horizon. A point at which I will be faced with the decision to grow or to plateau. What's stopping me from growing? I'm not really sure. Part of it is a fear of failure...but that's not of Him if I truly believe He is pointing me in that direction. Part of it is lack of resources...but I know that He has everything available to Him and therefore to me if He wills. So, I guess what's stopping me is the absence of a clear word...the path I'm supposed to take.
It's probably no coincidence that our Pastor spoke this past Sunday of Robert Frost's The Road Less Travelled and Jesus' teaching on the broad and narrow. I suppose a lot of people have gone down the path the I'm feeling called to. One Google search proves that it's a pretty travelled path. I can't help but think on the flip side that the road becomes pretty narrow when it's God who calls you to travel it! The fork in the road is on the horizon but in the mean time I will pray and wait...and hopefully He will keep fostering the gift!
- ► 2011 (18)