I am a thinker. I do not mean that I think about my grocery list or what to buy people for their birthdays. I’m talking about full on, contemplative analysis of life situations. I’ve been dubbed by the young women I mentor as “Mary Mother Pondering” because as they sit across from me, telling me of their struggles or decision they must make, I think. I weigh every possible scenario and ask God for His wisdom and direction before I speak. And sometimes, He doesn’t release me to speak…which can be quite aggravating for the person sitting there waiting for a response.
My contemplative side kicked in a few weeks ago while I was running errands and carting my children from one event to another. The thought I had was a game changer for me and here it is: According to the average age of death for women in the US in 2005 (80 yrs), I have lived almost half of my life (about to be 34 years). I began to think of how incredibly fast my 34 years have gone by and how much those 34 years contain. Many good things, many bad things, fun stuff, hard stuff, heartbreaking stuff. To be completely honest, however, it didn’t contain enough KINGDOM stuff. Then, the thought of how much time I may have left on this earth compared to how quickly life has already passed caused me to get a grip of urgency in my chest.
You know those heart monitoring machines in hospitals…the ones with the screen that shows heart rates and blood pressures? I began to think of how many billions of people who have walked the earth before me, from creation until now. If we were to chart those lives on a heart monitor, each life represented by a blip…I am only one blip among billions. Yet within that blip lies opportunity…opportunity that is brief compared to the line that contains the billions of blips of the past and future. That is a sobering thought for me…and even more sobering than being one small, fast, tiny blip, is that almost half of my blip is gone.
My next thought was, “Why do we wait until half our blip is gone before feeling the weight and seriousness of the blip we have?” Then after that the thought was, “I’ve got to get serious!” You see, as a Christian, I cannot wait to see Jesus face-to-face after traveling through this weary world…but there is work that I must do before I get there. When thinking of death, people sometimes make a bucket list. For some it will include traveling. For Tim McGraw, he wants to ride a bull named Fu Man Chu…just kidding…I totally get that. But for me? I want to make a mark on this earth for the Kingdom of Jesus Christ. I want to see spiritually dead people come to life in Jesus. I want to watch physically sick people be healed. I want to watch hope being given to the hopeless…marriages put back together…people bound in chains of bondage being set free…I want to see a sweeping revival in our city..state…nation…world. Jesus, please let it be!
I only have a little over half a blip left, if God allows me that. But whatever time He allows me to have I’m pressing on…throwing off EVERY hindrance placed on me by myself or by others…eyes on the prize, I’m running ahead. Will you join me?
“…What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.” James 4:14