Mandy Kavanaugh

A Thought About Our Fast for GB Family

2012-01-16T19:48:00.001-05:00

Hands down, the hardest thing for me to give up during a fast is Coca-Cola. And, let’s face it, if it’s the hardest for me to give up it really needs to be the first to go. Day 1 of the Awakening fast was fairly easy for me…until around 7:00pm when the headache began. This morning the headache was gone but in its aftermath was a wicked craving for a Coke! Unfortunately, the people who caught the brunt of my frustration of Coke withdrawal were Scott and the girls who were home for the MLK holiday. I knew in my mind and spirit that the only way I could fight the craving was to get alone with God…but three people in a tiny house is not conducive to productive & intimate prayer time…or so I justified. Somewhere around mid-afternoon came this statement from my hubby, “Mandy, you need to go in your prayer closet, in the word or talk to God….something!” And he was absolutely right!

I want to encourage you, if you are having a hard time, please remember that fasting is about seeking God…not about how long you can go without eating. The physical hunger or denying ourselves of something we crave heightens our intimacy with God…but only if we go to Him in our prayer closets during those times. We will not make it otherwise and if we do…we have only been religious.

I am blessed to seek God with an amazing group of people! I love my church. I love my God.

Yummy Sour Cream Pancakes

2012-01-02T15:51:00.001-05:00

I have tried several recipes for gluten free pancakes. Each time the results were much less than favorable since using gluten free flour changes everything in a recipe. I had pretty much given up on them until I opened one of my Christmas presents on Christmas Eve...The Pioneer Woman Cookbook! As I flipped through the pages, my eyes caught the title of Sour Cream Pancakes. As I skimmed the ingredients, my heart was hopeful when I read "7 tablespoons flour." Since the recipe called for only a small amount of flour, I mustered up the gumption to try one more time (substituting Jules GF Flour)...and it was a yummy success. These pancakes are moist, buttery, light...and most importantly, delicious!

You will need:

1 cup sour cream
7 tablespoons all purpose flour {I use Jule's Gluten Free Flour}
1 tablespoon sugar
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 large eggs
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
butter

In a bowl, mix together the flour, salt, sugar & baking soda. In a separate bowl mix together eggs & vanilla. Combine flour mixture & egg mixture. Mix lightly...it's ok if the batter is lumpy. Pour batter onto a heated, buttered skillet/griddle 1/4 cup at a time. Flip them when they begin to look like this:

Cook the other side until done....and this is the yummy result:

No one person at my table needed any extra butter. We just poured syrup on top and began eating this yummy food that we haven't had in quite a while. I added everyone's favorite side dish of bacon and sausage and called it a day! Thanks, Pioneer Woman!

Macaroni & Cheese

2011-11-05T12:53:00.000-05:00

One of the recipes that I have spent the most time searching for is Macaroni & Cheese. It has taken a while to find the right recipe, flour and pasta but the work has paid off. I use the recipe from the Pioneer Woman with gluten free adjustments. You can read the original recipe here on her blog. She posts step-by-step pictures which are helpful...especially when making the roux. And don't let the roux scare you. If I can do it...so can you!

Everyone, even those who are not GF, will love this dish. My brother-in-law and I are very picky eaters and we love it! Enjoy!

Image from www.thepioneerwoman.com

GF Pioneer Woman Macaroni & Cheese

Ingredients

4 cups Dried Macaroni (Quinoa Ancient Harvest GF Elbow Macaroni)
1 whole Egg Beaten
1/4 cup (1/2 Stick Or 4 Tablespoons) Butter
1/4 cup All-purpose Flour (Better Batter, Jules Gluten Free, OR GF Bisquick)
2-1/2 cups Whole Milk
2 teaspoons (heaping) Dry Mustard, More If Desired
1 pound Cheese, Grated
1/2 teaspoon Salt, More To Taste
1/2 teaspoon Seasoned Salt, More To Taste
1/2 teaspoon Ground Black Pepper
Optional Spices: Cayenne Pepper, Paprika, Thyme (I skip these :))

Preparation Instructions

Cook macaroni until very firm. Macaroni should be too firm to eat right out of the pot. Drain.

In a small bowl, beat egg.

In a large pot, melt butter and sprinkle in flour. Whisk together over medium-low heat. Cook mixture for five minutes, whisking constantly. Don’t let it burn.

Pour in milk, add mustard, and whisk until smooth. Cook for five minutes until very thick. Reduce heat to low.

Take 1/4 cup of the sauce and slowly pour it into beaten egg, whisking constantly to avoid cooking eggs. Whisk together till smooth.

Pour egg mixture into sauce, whisking constantly. Stir until smooth.

Add in cheese and stir to melt.

Add salt and pepper. Taste sauce and add more salt and seasoned salt as needed! DO NOT UNDERSALT.

Pour in drained, cooked macaroni and stir to combine.
Serve immediately (very creamy) or pour into a buttered baking dish, top with extra cheese, and bake for 20 to 25 minutes or until bubbly and golden on top.

Emily's story & how it can help YOU!

2011-11-04T15:44:00.003-05:00

I have come across more people lately who are gluten-free. The most amazing thing about that is these are people who have been in my life for years. Some of them were there to encourage my family at the very beginning of our own GF journey. I love the fact that God takes our trials and hardships and uses them to help other people. I never want our family's experience with Celiac Disease to be wasted. So, I have decided to add a tab to my blog that will contain gluten free recipes. I have spent the past eight years of my life learning how to prepare old family favorite dishes in a manner that is gluten free...but also tastes good! (That is the challenge with GF.) Before I begin posting those recipes, I wanted to include a Facebook note that I wrote in 2009. It shares more details of Emil's story. I hope it encourages you! Check back soon for gluten free recipes!

FACEBOOK NOTE FROM 2009:

We had spaghetti for dinner tonight. That's not a big deal to most people. But for my daughter, Emily, it means a lot. She was diagnosed with Celiac Disease when she was almost 2 years old. CD is an autoimmune disease which causes her body to "attack" her intestines if she ever ingests even a crumb of wheat gluten. You'll hear me refer to it as an allergy to simplify it for people...but it's far more than an allergy. A "reaction" for her isn't temporary and if she were to stray from her gluten free diet for a long period of time, she would have a very high risk of developing intestinal cancer not to mention the fact that she would be so malnourished her body could not function.

Many people ask us how she was diagnosed. We were blessed because the diagnosis came only a month or two after her symptoms appeared. Our healthy little toddler had lost weight quickly, except for her distended tummy. Her eyes appeared sunken in and her face was bony and pale. There were other symptoms that I will spare you. She went from being an active little girl to spending all of her free time sleeping on the couch...no running, skipping or giggling. After a simple blood test and an intestinal biopsy we had our diagnosis and treatment...living life gluten free.

At first, I thought it wouldn't be hard. After 2.5 hours at the grocery store and many tears shed, I left with Fritos, bananas and chicken. The realization hit me hard that this situation was going to be insurmountable. At that time there were no support groups...and let's face it...no one in Albany, GA even knew what wheat gluten was! I spent the first three months of her diagnosis totally consumed with notebooks to journal safe food and unsafe food, food labels and a phone to my ear calling all of the food manufacturers to ask what was in their food. Also during this time we had to be focused on getting Emily "caught up" because the time she spent ingesting gluten had depleted her body of everything that God put there to make her healthy. We had to be very purposeful about what we were putting into our child.

God had blessed me with one friend, Jackie, who lived in Albany at the time. Before Emily's dianosis, God had sent Jackie on a journey of learning to feed her family better...with whole foods. She did research for me...baked gluten free goodies (which is NOT easy)...and listened to my problems. She was a bigger help than she could possibly know. With her help and lots of time researching I began to feel less overwhelmed. After MUCH PRAYER from our family and church and having implemented all we had learned, we began to see amazing results! Within three months her stomach wasn't distended anymore and her physical appearance was almost back to normal. There were many battles to face after she began to get well. People have a hard time believing that one crumb of a cookie or cracker can make someone sick. People have tried to go to battle with me on that and in situations such as daycare, school and other public settings it can be difficult to say the least. But God's grace brought us through it.

That was such a long time ago. Emily is seven now. It's neat to see how God knits together a child's temperament in their DNA knowing how they must be equipped to handle what He has for them to experience in life. From the second Emily was born she has exhibited compassion, love, contentment and a good attitude. She has never once complained or asked "why" she has to deal with this. There are no "real" birthday cakes that she can enjoy...no pizza parties to partake of...no freshly baked cookies like we know them. And it's not just in bread....it's in seasonings, chocolate, broth....you name and it can have wheat gluten in it. My daughter is amazing because I would have thrown my hands up by now.

If you've made it this far into the rambling you're probably wondering why I'm writing about this now. Well, it all began with spaghetti. I purchased a different kind of gluten free noodles to save a buck (Gluten free is a very expensive diet). I knew immediately after I cooked them that they were going to be bad but I crossed my fingers hoping that Em's taste buds wouldn't notice. My sweet girl sat there through the meal without complaining. After we were all done she looked at me with her big, brown eyes and politely asked if she could have a PB&J (gluten free of course). While I cleaned up the dishes she sat happily with her sandwich and she was one word.....content...as always.

I CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP

2011-10-10T18:27:00.000-05:00

I just thought I would take a minute to encourage all of you who have had a bad day. My disclaimer is that 1) I know there are many others whose day was so much worse than mine and 2) after a whole day has passed I can finally laugh.

7:28am | After a trying morning, the girls and I finally head toward the door for school and the office. Scott had the day off. It was pouring down rain, so I walked each girl to the car under an umbrella. Scott delivered my cup of coffee to the car since my hands were full. {he's good that way}

7:29am | My youngest, who has already had a meltdown just a few minutes prior, continues the meltdown due to the back seat that was apparently folded up and wouldn't budge an inch back into the upright position. {note: said child is fighting a cold...we all know that magnifies emotions. :)} As my daughter continues to meltdown, I admit...I fussed about the seat being folded up in the first place by the culpit who wanted to skip the middle set of seats and sit in the very back. {can I at least get an AMEN from a mom out there?}

7:30am | With my coffee in hand, I put the car in reverse and hit the gas pedal. We were all jolted by the crash into my husband's car. I put the car in drive to remove my trailer hitch from my husband's bumper. Coffee spills all over my lap. My only response was to get out of the car...in the pouring rain.

7:31am | I hear primal screams coming from inside of my car and realized that I never put the car in park. In a moment of horror I watched my SUV roll toward my house. {I promise you that cars at any speed, rolling toward a house, seems like a million miles per hour.} I jumped into my car and hit the break just in time to be approximately 2-3 feet from the brick exterior wall of my daughters' bathroom.

7:32am | I exit the car again and walk behind my car...the long way...in the rain...to go inside. Why walk behind my car? There was no room between the front of my car and the bushes! Scott took over the task of taking the girls to school. I'm glad he did. I was shaking and just a smidge frantic...as were the girls in the car who stared down the brick wall of doom. {Don't tell Scott, but I really DO feel for him most of the time...you know, living in the land of estrogen.}

7:34am | What is a girl to do but change her coffee saturated jeans...and brew another cup? ;)

So, that was the start of my day...how was yours?

BLAKE & CHARLYE

2011-10-04T08:43:00.003-05:00

Meet Blake & Charlye. God designed our paths to cross almost two years ago...then, He wove our hearts together in ministry seven months after that. Scott and I get to see this couple in two different settings: their ministry lives and their personal lives. I can tell you they are no different in one mode than in the other. Today, on their third wedding anniversary, I have been thinking of a way to describe them and two words come to mind: LOVE & CONSISTENCY. Let me tell you about them.

I have decided the best way to describe Blake as one of my partners in ministry is that he is my right arm and my left brain. You see, I am a worship leader who can't read a lick of music. A typical week includes me trying to explain something I hear happening musically in my head and how I want it to come to life in our corporate worship setting. Blake takes my thoughts and makes it happen with the band. He never shows frustration. Only support. I value that in him. He is a leader, both on and off the stage. He leads our young men's small group and I know they are blessed to have him.

Charlye is the quiet type...but dont' mistake being quiet as being weak. I think of her as a mighty princess-warrior in God's army through both her prayer and her worship. She is a spirit and truth worshiper...extravagant...humble...you can see the presence of the Holy Spirit resting on her when she praises God. It's a blessing to me. Charlye also leads our young women's small group. I hear first hand from those girls what a difference Charlye has made in their lives. That's a blessing to me too.

As a couple, they shout the Gospel of Jesus Christ with their actions. They are faithful to one another and faithful to their Savior. In our modern world where marriage is not valued, they are one of the couples that are defying the odds. I believe they will tell you that the reason they are doing so is because of their love and surrender to Christ and their love and mutual honor toward one another.

Blake & Charlye...I love you both. You inspire me and many others. I pray God's riches blessing on your lives and His continual blessing and expansion of your ministries. I know the following scripture has become so commonplace but it truly does fit you both. Let it wash over your hearts!

1 Corinthians 13:1-7 {The Message}

If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.
Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut, Doesn't have a swelled head, Doesn't force itself on others, Isn't always "me first," Doesn't fly off the handle, Doesn't keep score of the sins of others, Doesn't revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end.

WHY I LOVE THE GREENBRIAR PRAYER SUMMIT

2011-10-03T19:36:00.001-05:00

1. The FELLOWSHIP. I love the opportunity to be around our people for 2 days with basically no interruption. During the breaks and free time, the guys play some sort of man-sport and the girls get together to chat. There's no outside schedule to worry about so you have time to really get to know one another better.

2. The FOOD. Probably one of my most favorite things is to see what kind of snacks people bring to share with everyone. Last year, Erica {the college student that I mentor} brought Gooey Cake Bars. They were divine! I hope she reads this blog and brings them again this year! The meals are always so good that we joked about re-naming the weekend the Food Summit!

3. The WEATHER. For this girl, who could do without summer, the cooler temp allows me to focus. The crispness of the morning and evening air brings refreshing right on the heels of refreshing that comes with spending an extended, focused time in prayer. There's nothing like being out in the country, under an open sky, having a conversation with the designer of the universe!

4. The WORSHIP. There's something different about worship at the Prayer Summit. It's not big and loud. It's simple. It's anointed in a different way. There is no sound equipment and I love that! Those of us who are magnified though a sound system each week, get to listen as the voices of our people ring clearly through the air. It's really beautiful.

5. The UNITY. There is power in prayer. There is even more power when many believers are praying together. We come back from the Prayer Summit with a bond that lasts for a long time. We've spent time interceding for one another, our church, our city, our families. That kind of prayer unites.

6. The LODGING. Yes, you read that right. I actually like the fact that we have all girls in one cabin and all guys in another. It reminds me of youth camp years. I give the younger girls grief because they never sleep {they stay up talking and tweeting} but I secretly love it. I love being a part of it for a few days before returning to the real world.

7. The INACCESSIBILITY. My cell phone drives my day...there's no way around it. It comes with my ministry, and that's okay. But for 2 days I leave my cell phone on my pillow and focus only on what God has to say to me and what I need to say to Him. No beeps. No blinking light. No notifications. It is wonderful!

8. The COMMUNION. Not just the bread and the juice but the actual communion between me and God. The fellowship...the conversation. Last year I was able to pour my heart out to Him about one specific thing that I was having a hard time dealing with. I was suffering silently about this particular issue. He didn't fix it on the spot...but He grew me in the months that followed and by the fourth month He had broken through. I am thankful for the time at the Prayer Summit when I was able to crouch down in the corner of a country chapel and pour out my heart to God.

These are just a few things that I love about the Prayer Summit. I hope you can join us this year and seek God for what He has for you and wants to do in/through you. It's a weekend you won't regret!

www.GreenbriarChurch.net/PrayerSummit
Twitter: @GreenbriarCh #GBPrayerSummit

WHAT I LEARNED FROM A NUTRI-GRAIN COMMERCIAL

2011-09-24T11:19:00.000-05:00

There is a commercial on television that hits a nerve with me each time I see it. Here it is:

I’m not really sure why this commercial hits a nerve with me. Maybe it’s because more often than not, I do not make good breakfast choices because I’m on the run. Or maybe it’s just because I’m weird. Either way, God brought the commercial to mind just a few minutes ago as I was reading this scripture.

Psalm 90:14 “Satisfy us in the morning with Your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.”

For as long as I can remember there has been a debate about the best time of day to have a quiet time (a personal, intimate time with God through His word and prayer). Some people believe that you should have your quiet time just as your feet hit the floor in the mornings. Other people believe that it really doesn’t matter when you have your quiet time as long as you have one. Some people are legalistic about it while others are grace abusers…that is a whole different blog post! I’m old enough now to have walked through several phases of life that required different things of me. When my children were infants it was impossible to have a quiet time before my day began...I was doing good to get one in before bedtime. At this phase in my life, I usually have my quiet time as soon as I drop my kids off at school. I don’t think God is the hall monitor handing out tardy slips for each minute that passes before we have time with Him…but I do believe that the sooner I can make the good choice of getting alone with Him for prayer and the word, the better my chances are of having victory through my day. Here’s what Beth Moore says in her Bible study, “Breaking Free”:

“To live victoriously, every day we must learn to pour out our hearts to God, confess sin daily, acknowledge every hollow place, and invite Him to fill us fully! Then we need to continue to fan the flame of His love by reading scripture, listening to edifying music, and praying often. We also need to avoid things that obviously quench His Spirit.

In my morning time with God, I ask Him to satisfy all my longings and fill all my hollow places with His lavish, unfailing love. This frees me from craving the approval of others and requiring them to ‘fill my cup.’ Then, if someone takes the time to demonstrate his or her love to me, that’s the overflow! I am free to appreciate it and enjoy it, but I didn’t emotionally require it.”

We have a choice. We can begin our day with the appetite of our flesh and the result will be a craving so great that no one or nothing can satisfy it. Or, we can begin with a feast on the Word of God with God Himself and find satisfaction that will overflow into each and every circumstance that comes our way. I want the feast that satisfies!

A FEW THOUGHTS ABOUT ME & J. SCOTT KAVANAUGH

2011-09-06T19:30:00.000-05:00

I wish I knew the exact date when I first met Scott Kavanaugh. I had a friend who was dying to set me up with this boy that she grew up with. I didn’t like blind dates and would not agree to her plan. She thought she had the solution to my refusal when he walked up to her in the mall one day when I was with her. They began to chat and she introduced me. I thought he was very cute – that was the word we used back then – so I decided to join the conversation that had just begun about his brand new car. It just so happened that I was about to make my first new car purchase and was considering the same one he had just purchased. So, I asked him, “How do you like your new car? I’m thinking about purchasing that same type.” In typical JSK “attitude” style, he looked at me and said, “Well, fine, I guess. I just got it.” Psshhh! That was the end of that! I told my friend no way, no how would I go out with someone so rude!

But, as life would have it, that all changed… English 201 found me in the class of one of the most liberal professors our college had at that time. I knew that the semester would be tough on me because of that; so on the first day of class, I was preparing myself for the weeks ahead. And then, the professor began to call roll. Professor: “J. Scott Kavanaugh?” Scott: “Here.” Professor: “May I ask what the J stands for?” Scott: “No, you may not. That’s why it is an initial.” I was hooked from that moment on! It was the same sarcasm that I had experienced one year earlier, but something was different this time. That semester ended up being the best few months I had ever had. And the rest is history.

Today is our fourteenth wedding anniversary. I don’t save reflection for this time each year…I think over those fourteen years often…not because they have been bad…but because they have been so graced. Fourteen years of marriage has included the birth of two little girls that forever stole our hearts; the death of four grandparents and one parent that took a piece of our hearts with them into eternity; financial lows; financial highs; grocery budgets that began at $50/2 weeks up to the current $175/week; historical acts of God and man that have changed life as we knew it; friends that have remained friends to this day and even some who have wondered away. Through every single day of each year one constant thing remained – the hand of God has been on us each step of the way. To God be the glory!

J. Scott Kavanaugh – I love you more than any other person on this earth now or ever. There is no one I would rather spend the rest of my days with. I love you with all of my heart and I look forward to the years we have left until we are taken home in death or we meet Jesus in the parted sky! You are my man! I love you!

KAY ARTHUR: HARD WORDS from DEEPER STILL

2011-07-05T19:06:00.005-05:00

Today’s blog post is for the women of Greenbriar Church who were not able to travel with us to Louisville, KY for the Deeper Still Conference. This particular conference was the very last one in the FIVE YEAR run of conferences. If you never had the opportunity to attend one let me paint the picture for you. Attenders always arrived on Friday night greeted by 8,000 to 17,000 of your closest girlfriends from across the country. There is nothing like waiting for the doors to open with that many sisters in Christ. I promise you…the numbers are no exaggeration! Upon finally entering the venue there was no mistaking the energized atmosphere! From music to booths set up by the LifeWay Women’s Team, there was always something to keep your attention…and it wasn't just fluff! It was all relevant to Christian Women. Finally, the 5-minute countdown would begin and spirit-filled worship would commence. And then…about 20 minutes later the first of three anointed and powerful speakers would take her place on the stage, bringing God’s word to a sea of hungry women. Then, the process repeated itself the very next day. I’ve never been to an event with these speakers that I haven’t heard clearly from God about how to apply their messages to my life. Over the next 3 posts, I will attempt to share with you what they brought to us. First up, KAYE ARTHUR. {All words in parenthesis are my thoughts.}

Kay began her teaching time with this statement: “400 women were asked, ‘Have you ever doubted God’s love?’ Seventy-five percent said, ‘Yes.’” She went on to share that when those women were asked why they doubted God’s love, the reasons included sexual abuse, feelings of guilt, rejection by others, experiencing a loss, because God doesn't answer my prayers, because I feel unworthy based on my past.

Then she turned the question to us…Have YOU ever doubted God’s love because He isn't performing as you expected? {ouch} How secure and confident are you in the Lord? Are you sure of His unconditional love…how He knows all about you and loves you anyway?

Sometimes, we make the mistake of thinking that God loves us because we are lovable but Romans 5:6-8 tells us differently. Scripture tells us that Jesus died for us while we were helpless {we couldn’t save ourselves} and ungodly {we aren’t good enough to save ourselves}. There’s no mistaking that we aren’t loveable. The solution was found in the sacrifice of Jesus Christ and through His sacrifice God lavished love on us {I John 3:1}

Kaye spent the next 20 minutes or so giving a very detailed description of the physical suffering of Jesus Christ as He bore our sin and appeased God’s wrath. The scripture she clung to for the majority of the time was Isaiah 52:14 through Isaiah 53. The picture she painted hurt my heart.

John 1:11 tells us that Jesus came to His own but they did not receive Him but to all that did, He gave them the right to become children of God…and then into verse 13 she commentated, “Salvation…not because of your family name, not because someone willed you and not because YOU decided…it was because HE did {decided}.” {Ephesians 1:3-10}

1 John 3:2 says, “Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when He appears, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is.” She posed the next question: “How are you living in light of His return?” And then, she spent the remainder of her time taking a hard look at what separates true children of God from those who are not…including those who think they are children but have been deceived. I will give you the scriptures she referenced as well as her commentary.

1 John 3:3 “Everyone who has this hope in him purifies himself, just as He is pure.” Is sin in my life causing me to doubt God’s love? If we have habitual sin in our lives (same sin, time and time again) we should examine our salvation because of this…

1 John 3:6, “No one who lives in Him keeps on sinning. No one continues to sin has either seen Him or known Him.” If the power of sin hasn’t been destroyed then you aren’t born again.

1 John 3:9, “No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God’s seed remains in him; he cannot go on sinning, because he has been born of God.” No child of God practices sin because Jesus, God’s seed, dwells in him.

1 Corinthians 6:9-11, “Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.” If there is no change {in your life} then you aren’t a child of God.

1 John 3:10, “This is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do right is not a child of God; nor is anyone who does not love his brother.” Those who are not of God are obvious. {It should be noted that “doing right” does not refer to man’s moral code. The Greek word is dikaiosune and means, “the condition acceptable to God; the doctrine concerning the way in which man may attain a state approved by God.” } {Loving your brother is further expressed through verse 16.}

{So, what about those who profess to be of God?} In John 8:41 the Pharisees said, “We are not illegitimate children…the only Father we have is God Himself!” To this, Jesus replied, “If God were your Father, you would live me, for I come from God and now am here. I have not come on my own, but He sent me.” The message is clear: If a person doesn’t love JESUS, they do not love God.

Romans 5:5, “…God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us.” We are only able to love because of His love in us through the Holy Spirit {which produces the fruits of the Spirit found in Galatians 5:22…go check them out.}

1 John 4:16, “And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.”

Kay’s purpose, I am convinced, was not to scare the women who were at this conference. But in our culture…a world filled with no absolute truth and a “love wins” mentality, she had to draw the line in the sand using the pure word of God. It wasn’t an easy message to hear but Hebrews 4:12 tells us, “For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” At the end of it all, God’s Word divides those who are in Him and those who are not. It’s clear.

My prayer is that whoever may come across this lonely, little blog of mine will examine themselves using the mirror of scripture. If you have any questions I would love to speak with you. You may email me at Mandy@GreenbriarChurch.net.

HORSES, HATS & HAPPINESS

2011-07-01T18:50:00.012-05:00

I decided that my blog has been sort of serious and heavy for the past week and a half so, it's time to add some fun stuff! At the beginning of June, I loaded up a van with five other women and we began a 12 hour drive to Louisville, Kentucky for the last Deeper Still conference with Beth Moore, Kay Arthur and Priscilla Shirer. We had the best time and made so many memories...and even a few new friends. Here are just a few snapshots taken by my friend, Jaye Bice and myself. (Mine are the really blurry ones :))

This is me and Jaye, our pastor's wife. Jaye and I first met at the wedding of Johnny & Jill Schroeder, where I was the wedding planner. Little did I know then that her husband, Tim, had been praying about asking me to come on staff at Greenbriar Church. She later told me that she was watching me like a hawk to see if I was someone she could do life with...as we all know, when you are in ministry with a group of people, you see them a lot more than you see your own family! A few months after the wedding it was Jaye who called me to ask us over for dinner. The rest is history. I came on staff...and in the process I gained this wonderful woman as a best friend. She supports me in every area of my ministries at Greenbriar. She loves my family...especially my children. She intercedes for us. She allows me (expects me) to be 100% myself. We laugh together (a lot)...we cry together. We get along tremendously well on trips (even when our husbands come along). I've said it before but she's the friend that feels like she's been in my life since birth but in reality it's only been a few months short of two years. Anyway, sorry to ramble...I just wanted gab a little about her!

These are the brave women who made the trip. We overcame a hotel with no air, 2 bugs in our bed, a sack full of vendor hotdogs, one bathroom/one sink for all us, a flat tire on the way home and when we all were starving and tried to find food, the only exit available was one where everything had been taken out by a tornado. (THAT scenario made us think twice about complaining!) In spite of all the minor irritations...we had a BLAST!

I realize something is a little *ahem*...off...in this picture. Jaye is always behind the camera (even though this was my camera) so I had to superimpose her...rather sloppily, I might add. This was our dinner on the Ohio River at a place called "Rocky's". It was better during my first trip to Louisville but after 12 hours of drive time I think we were all just ready for bed!

We had a little time to kill on Friday morning so we headed to Churchill Downs! The store manager was gracious enough to let us use some official hats to record a welcome video to send back home for church that Sunday. I LOVED THE HATS! I thought about buying mine but with a price tag of $550.00, I decided to put it back! The pic of me hugging that sweet girl is Ivy...she glows. Literally, she does. She loves Jesus and helps the needy. That is her in a nutshell.

The pink hat is Katy, the person I mentor. I LOVE this hat on her...it was perfect! I think her picture should be on a Kentucky Derby ad! The other lovely lady is Sharon. I think she and Katy called ahead about hat colors because they matched their outfits! So cute!

This is us (minus our photographer). I love this picture because of Katy.

She's going to kill me. :)

This first picture is from Deeper Still December 2010. At first glance, it appears that I am choking my dear friend, but if you look closer you will see that she has a complex about her neck being too skinny (is there really such a thing?) and asked me to use the scarf to cover it up. This picture perpetuated the false assumption that I am aggressive...so in keeping with Deeper Still trips I decided to choke Ivy in front of the Actors Theatre! As you can tell though, I actually love her to pieces!

And at the end of the last day, we gained two new friends from the conference. The had flown in from Panama City Beach and needed a ride to dinner. So, our 6 turned into 8! We loved meeting them and still keep up with them on Twitter!

I cannot wait for the next trip! Girls trips are so much fun...I think boys miss out on so much! I'm not sure when the next road trip will be but I sure hope you are part of it! Until next time....

***Will post more about the content of the Deeper Still Conference in a few days! It's GREAT stuff! So thankful for these women of God who bring the WORD without apology!

DETAILS on EMILY'S TEST RESULTS

2011-06-30T18:12:00.002-05:00

I only have a few minutes to post this but I HAD to get the update out fast! Praise God, the polyp was BENIGN and the other areas of concern were just irritation. The pill cam did catch a diverticulum in her small intestines. We will have another test to find out if it's Meckels Diverticulum. If it is, Scott and I will have to decide if we take it out now or wait until it becomes a problem...the answer will probably be to take it out now since they can become dangerous quickly.

Emily will always have to be watched, however, because juvenile polyps that occur frequently have a high rate of turning into malignancies. I'm choosing to cross that bridge when and if we come to it. For now.....I am overjoyed that this one is benign!

I've got to tell you, I have been preparing my heart for the worst. Not in a morbid, hopeless kind of way....but in a trust Jesus no matter what kind of way. This has made me ask myself some hard questions about how far I'm willing to surrender to Him. To be honest, I want to live every day of my life like that.

In the middle of my rejoicing the thought hit me that there are parents today that DIDN'T receive good news. We met some parents like that while we were in Macon at Children's Hospital. My heart goes out to them. Please lift them up with me...I don't know any of them but I know they need us to stand in the gap!

THANK YOU JESUS!

WHILE WE'RE WAITING....

2011-06-28T18:35:00.003-05:00

Today is day 5 in our 8-11 day wait on Emily's biopsies. To say it has been slow is an understatement and sometimes, with each minute that passes, we find ourselves fighting for our joy. And in the moments when we think we are about to lose our minds, God provides distraction. I'm so thankful for His grace!

I was asked Sunday by my co-worker, Johnny, where I had been in the Word while we were in the hospital. He wanted to make sure I was turning to the right Place with my fears and heavy heart but in that moment, I was so exhausted and overwhelmed to give him an answer. I was in several different places in the Word over the days we were in the hospital. I wrote most of them in my journal and when I reflected over them today, I knew I wanted to share one of the most significant.

I wanted to keep up with my Bible study in Tammie Head's "Duty or Delight". Most of the time when you are waiting on God to speak, it is best to stay on your structured reading routine versus the hunt-and-peck method. This one particular day she touched on a familiar verse...one that we almost glaze over because we've heard it so much:

"Therefore let us approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us at the proper time." Hebrews 4:16

The Greek word for "boldness" is parresia and it means "freedom in speaking, unreservedness in speech, openly, frankly, i.e without concealment, without ambiguity or circumlocution, without the use of figures and comparisons, free and fearless confidence, cheerful courage, boldness, assurance, the deportment by which one becomes conspicuous or secures publicity." Does any of this cause a flood of emotions within you? It did for me!

For those of us who have received Jesus Christ as LORD and SAVIOR, we have rights. Yes, you heard that correctly. I, for one, have spent too long walking around as if I don't have any rights. Sometimes, we confuse walking with boldness in our rights with irreverence toward God...and it just isn't so. Prayer...bold prayer...is our right, given to us by God! And look at how bold our prayers can be! (Go read the definition again...go ahead, I will wait.)

How many times have we edited our prayers before God!?! Plenty. Out of embarrassment. Out of shame. Out of unworthiness. Out of fear. But based on that definition of boldness, however, we have no reason to edit! We can lay out our deepest fears, our worst hurts, our biggest dreams, our intense anxieties...whatever it is...we can bring it to Him! Our words do not have to be eloquent nor our phrases long. It doesn't matter...we just need to get to the heart of the matter.

And my FAVORITE part of that definition is, "...the deportment by which one becomes conspicuous or secures publicity." GOD DOES NOT IGNORE US! When we come before the throne of God, we have secured and audience of One. He listens. We have His attention! In these days of waiting, I have been uttering some pretty raw and honest prayers...and I am so comforted by the fact that He hears!

Another part of that verse that speaks to me is we will find mercy and grace "at the proper time". I'm sure many of you have had opportunities to ask God, "When?" When will You...heal my marriage...provide a job for me...heal my illness...save my loved one...etc. This verse reminds me that the answer lies within the sovereignty of our God..."at the proper time." He WILL answer. We just have to wait until the proper time.

I want to share two pieces of encouragement that I have listened to several times. The first one is a sermon by Judah Smith at the New Spring Church Leadership Conference in 2010. He talks about living in the mean time while you're waiting on the proper time. Click here and then select Judah Smith, session 4.

The other is "While I'm Waiting," a song by John Waller. This is my personal battle plan while I'm waiting...to serve Him, worship Him, commune with Him. If you are waiting on God to move in your life, I hope you will do the same!

EMILY Update: WAITING MODE

2011-06-26T14:20:00.010-05:00

I am so sorry it has taken a while to update everyone on Emily. My antivirus program would not allow me back on the hospital's wireless internet...and by the time we arrived home I was too exhausted to pull out this laptop. So, here is the update a few days late.

Emily was taken Thursday, shortly before lunch, for her endoscopy and colonoscopy. She was so brave. During the colonoscopy they found the polyp that you see below. Scott and I were able to see it in person after the scope. Personally, the name "polyp" doesn't do it justice. When I think "polyp", I think small and puny. As you can see, this was no small or puny growth. The doctor has sent that polyp as well as other biopsies to pathology. We anxiously await those reports this Friday (July 1) or the following Monday. There were other concerning areas but this polyp, by far, is the most concerning.

Emily came out of her scopes like a champ! After 30 minutes or so in recovery, she was ready to eat! BUT, not so fast! The doctor decided to insert a pill camera that traveled through the parts of her intestines where no scope can go. Given his findings in the colonoscopy, he wanted to cover all bases. This meant another 9 hours without eating and an extra night in the hospital.

Eventually, 9 hours passed...and a milkshake party commenced in room 306! I wish I could have videoed Emily's response after her first sip of chocolaty goodness after 5 days of no eating! She was in heaven.

That night, we also had some therapy dogs to visit! They were a bright spot and provided some distraction by performing various tricks.

Then, Friday morning we received the OFFICIAL word that we were going home! We happily loaded Emily up and headed down I-75 South.

And now...we wait. We wait to hear from pathology about the biopsies. It's probably the hardest thing I've ever had to wait on. I got up for church this morning...thankful, by the way, that I lead a team of worship leaders who truly live worship as their lifestyle and could easily step in and take charge...but the one thing I asked God was, "How do I act (in front of our people) as if this wait isn't worrisome and excruciating?" He reminded me of my ultimate example of the way I should act and that example is in the person of Jesus. When Jesus was in the Garden of Gethsemane we know it was an excruciating and intense time of waiting for Him because we are told that he began to sweat drops of blood. He knew what was ahead of Him and in His waiting, He did not put on a mask. He poured His heart out to God in complete honesty. And somehow He still considered with joy the cross set before Him. I'm not sure what that looks like for us entirely, but I do know this: Jesus knows every anxious thought we have, every fear, every worry...and we can pour our hearts out to Him in complete honesty as we wait.

Thank you, again, for praying for us. You have no idea how much your prayers have been felt. It has been humbling and overwhelming. I would ask that you pray also for the Thompson family, whose father is in the hospital with congestive heart failure after undergoing the removal of a kidney as well as the Sims family, who has just learned that their grandmother has brain cancer. That news comes on the heels of the death of their grandfather last year. There are some hard things going on within our church family but as we proclaimed this morning, JESUS reigns in our midst. HE is freedom. HE is hope. We look to HIM. We hold on to HIM. God is still God and God is still good! Praise be to God!

soli Deo gloria

WEDNESDAY EMILY UPDATE

2011-06-22T20:54:00.012-05:00

Where to begin? We were informed this morning at 3:30 that Emily could possible have her scopes today. Our doctor decided to try something new...go through the Operating Room for the endoscopy/colonoscopy so that we could come home today if the course of treatment allowed. We were excited and very prepared! Anesthesia came to have paperwork signed and discussed the usual things with us. And then...Dr. Muhammed came to deliver the news..."We cannot do procedure today. I just finished fussin' out a whole bunch of people!" I'm not sure what his ethnicity is but his thick accent made this statement pretty funny. Apparently, every team in the hospital was ready to go except the endoscopy team. Since they are just slightly crucial to the test we have to wait until tomorrow.

We headed to the activity room after the news was delivered. This is Emily's favorite room because there are lots of creative things to do. She painted and worked on more Fuse Beads. During one of our activity room visits we had guests! The Greenbriar Church Staff (minus Mike who was feeling sick but plus Jaye because it is summer and she's out of school and she is such a great friend!). They came bearing a HUGE bag of goodies. Johnny provided some laughter as he made his own Fuse Bead penguin for his son, Baby Judah. I'm sure no one has trouble believing that he had the room laughing the whole time! After their visit, Melissa Bullard, one of Emily's small group leaders, came by to see Emily. We are so blessed to have family and friends who care so much. We are so thankful for each one.

At some point this afternoon we discovered that Emily might not be as, ummm, "prepared" for her procedures tomorrow so the doctor decided to add 4 more rounds of Mirilax. So far, the results haven't been as bad as I expected. After a shower and a new hospital gown Emily literally fell into the bed and sacked out!

As I sat here looking at her sleeping tonight, the perfect sovereignty of God floods my mind and how we can be at perfect peace when we surrender our worries and fears to Him. Honestly, I'm good at that....until it comes to those I love the most in the whole world. Then, I have to fight for it! Fight for the mind set on Jesus Christ...Fight for the demolishing of negative thoughts...Fight for the peace that comes with total surrender to our God. I found a verse that reminds me of the rest Emily is experiencing right this moment:

"In peace I will lie down and sleep, for You alone, LORD, make me dwell in safety." Psalm 4:8

You alone. No doctor. No test. No medicine. No prognosis. Jesus alone brings peace! As we face tomorrow and whatever lies around the corner, I'm taking this peace with me!

Things I am looking forward to tomorrow? 1) Hugging the stuffin' out of HG! I have missed her so much. 2) Watching my baby girl finally get to put something solid in her belly after 4 days of a liquid-only diet (hopefully) 3)The possibility of coming home.

Now, with Em sound asleep and me having a few quiet moments, I'm going to get in the Word and then go to bed!

UPDATE ON EMILY

2011-06-21T21:53:00.003-05:00

I finally have some quiet moments to provide a more detailed update to you all. First, let me say how overwhelmed by how many people have emailed, texted, called, tweeted and facebooked over the last 2 days! God has encouraged us through them…and when you are 2 hours from home, family and friends in a situation like this, you need a lot of encouragement! The body of Christ has been amazing!

So many people have asked what began all of this, so I want to take a minute to explain it. Emily was diagnosed with Celiac Disease when she was 21 months old. The only treatment for that is to be on a strict gluten-free diet. When a person who has CD ingests wheat gluten, their body actually turns against itself and begins attacking the intestines. The result is malnutrition, extreme gastro symptoms, etc. and if not cared for properly, it can be extremely threatening. The good news is that God placed Emily in a family with a Mom and Dad who are pretty rigid rule followers! We do everything in our power to make sure she eats safe foods. That being said….

Sunday began with Emily not even eating a grape because her stomach wasn’t feeling well. By the afternoon she had severe abdominal pain and bleeding. We went to the ER and were dismissed but within an hour and a half of returning home the pain had returned and increased. We were then admitted to Phoebe by our pediatrician’s office. Yesterday, after our physician, Dr. Holwerda, examined Em and consulted with her pediatric Gastro doc in Macon, they decided that the best thing for Emily was to be transported by ambulance to MCCG to undergo more specific testing.

Our first night was chaotic, to say the least. Emily began the “cleansing” process for a colonoscopy and endoscopy. We had our choice between an NG tube (through the nose to the stomach) or a tasteless solution in apple juice. DUH! Hands down we chose the solution in the juice! It did come with a price however. Emily had to drink the solution every hour during the day…and every other hour during the night. Needless to say she was exhausted by sunrise!

We have spent today in the activity room…well, between the activity room and the bathroom every 10-20 minutes to be more specific. She has been a trooper through the whole thing and has amazed everyone with her constant smile…even when prodded with needles and other things you don’t want near you!We found out this afternoon that the scopes will take place Thursday…not sure of a time yet. Emily is starving and will not be able to eat until after the test…so, pray for her endurance.

So, what will these tests reveal? Well, for a person with CD, a view and biopsy of the intestines is the only definitive way of knowing if their intestines are healthy or damaged from ingesting gluten. If she has ingested gluten, we will have to find the source and eliminate it. If this episode is NOT CD related…well, the possibilities are many. That is when we have to fight the battle of the mind…the “what-ifs”. You can pray for that as well.

As I type this, Emily is sound asleep in her hospital bed. I’m hoping that the bathroom trips are finally over. There will be no reason to wake her up tonight so I’m asking God to give her a deep, restful sleep. I will try my best to keep this updated. Photos and quick pics are easier to post to Twitter or Facebook so look there too!

Again, we love you all! Thank you for lifting us up and providing encouragement! And many of you have asked about HG…she is with Frosty and Cathy. I hear that she ran the title search business today, traveling over a few counties showing Frosty and Cathy how it’s done! LOL! She also is apparently baking according to the pics we keep receiving. We miss her so much and can’t wait to have Kav #3 with Kavs #1, #2 and #4 on Thursday!

Pondering my BLIP...

2011-06-07T08:55:00.007-05:00

I am a thinker. I do not mean that I think about my grocery list or what to buy people for their birthdays. I’m talking about full on, contemplative analysis of life situations. I’ve been dubbed by the young women I mentor as “Mary Mother Pondering” because as they sit across from me, telling me of their struggles or decision they must make, I think. I weigh every possible scenario and ask God for His wisdom and direction before I speak. And sometimes, He doesn’t release me to speak…which can be quite aggravating for the person sitting there waiting for a response.

My contemplative side kicked in a few weeks ago while I was running errands and carting my children from one event to another. The thought I had was a game changer for me and here it is: According to the average age of death for women in the US in 2005 (80 yrs), I have lived almost half of my life (about to be 34 years). I began to think of how incredibly fast my 34 years have gone by and how much those 34 years contain. Many good things, many bad things, fun stuff, hard stuff, heartbreaking stuff. To be completely honest, however, it didn’t contain enough KINGDOM stuff. Then, the thought of how much time I may have left on this earth compared to how quickly life has already passed caused me to get a grip of urgency in my chest.

You know those heart monitoring machines in hospitals…the ones with the screen that shows heart rates and blood pressures? I began to think of how many billions of people who have walked the earth before me, from creation until now. If we were to chart those lives on a heart monitor, each life represented by a blip…I am only one blip among billions. Yet within that blip lies opportunity…opportunity that is brief compared to the line that contains the billions of blips of the past and future. That is a sobering thought for me…and even more sobering than being one small, fast, tiny blip, is that almost half of my blip is gone.

My next thought was, “Why do we wait until half our blip is gone before feeling the weight and seriousness of the blip we have?” Then after that the thought was, “I’ve got to get serious!” You see, as a Christian, I cannot wait to see Jesus face-to-face after traveling through this weary world…but there is work that I must do before I get there. When thinking of death, people sometimes make a bucket list. For some it will include traveling. For Tim McGraw, he wants to ride a bull named Fu Man Chu…just kidding…I totally get that. But for me? I want to make a mark on this earth for the Kingdom of Jesus Christ. I want to see spiritually dead people come to life in Jesus. I want to watch physically sick people be healed. I want to watch hope being given to the hopeless…marriages put back together…people bound in chains of bondage being set free…I want to see a sweeping revival in our city..state…nation…world. Jesus, please let it be!

I only have a little over half a blip left, if God allows me that. But whatever time He allows me to have I’m pressing on…throwing off EVERY hindrance placed on me by myself or by others…eyes on the prize, I’m running ahead. Will you join me?

“…What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.” James 4:14

Are you a JUDAS? Sometimes, I am!

2011-04-02T09:29:00.003-05:00

I am not, by nature, a generous person. My spiritual gift is not giving, it’s prophet. One of my responsibilities with our church is a business administrator, of sorts. I am held responsible for accurately managing the budget, making sure we operate in business with integrity and tending to financial details to ensure we are always operating in the black. I was at a leadership conference not too long ago where the speaker referred to the church financial person as the “Judas” of the church staff. Everyone laughed…even me. I’m sure there were people who were offended by it but as I was reading scripture this morning that event came to mind and I told the Lord, “You know that speaker was joking, but he’s really right.”

We could debate Judas from a theological standpoint but this I know – he was the penny-pinching bookkeeper of his group and he operated out of greed. I don’t consider myself greedy but as the penny-pincher bookkeeper of our group it’s tempting. When giving is down, and I mean down…as in less than the weekly requirement, and someone comes to us with a need it doesn’t appear we can meet, the first thought used to be, “We can’t.” I’ve had to learn to retrain my mind to ask, “How can we?” Each time we’ve made a decision from a place of faith and generosity the outcome has been a blessing…for both parties. Conversely, when we’ve made decisions out of financial fear the outcome has been a burden. So, what does a penny-pinching bookkeeper do to ensure he/she does not follow the road of Judas?

My inspiration came from Acts 2:42-47:

42 They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. 43 Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. 44 All the believers were together and had everything in common. 45 They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. 46 Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, 47praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

1. I must first be devoted to the basics of my Christian walk: submitting to the authority of my pastor’s teaching, fellowshipping with other believers and prayer. Why? Because when I am committed to these things I hear the prompting of the Holy Spirit easier than when I am not. For a person who is not generous by nature, the Holy Spirit must be depended on to tell you when to give…or else it’s easy to become apathetic. There is also accountability in being committed to these things and when those who love you know you struggle with being generous, they can spur you on to good (and generous) works.

2. I must have an action plan. If I don’t look for opportunities to be generous, I will not be generous. I’m sure each believer in the early church did not have the same gift of giving…yet they worked together to sell their possession to give to the needy. Even when giving is not our spiritual gift we are not let off the hook to be givers! As our pastor says, “We give because He gave.” That should be motivation enough!

3. I must have the salvation of the lost as my motivation. I don’t have the spiritual gift of evangelism either…but I do have a burden to watch God reach down and save the lost right before my eyes…dead people, coming to life! Who wouldn’t want to see that?!?! My responsibility is to be generous with the Gospel at all times…and sometimes that means being generous in the natural to be able to lavish the spiritual on a dead person.

I’m not sure what your spiritual gift is but this I know…all believers are called to a life of generosity. I hope you will ask God to show you opportunities today to put generosity into action!

Sanctity of Life

2011-01-30T21:17:00.006-05:00

This month is traditionally set aside as Sanctitiy of Life month in churches across this country. I realize that the sanctity of life should be on our minds daily but I am thankful there is a concentrated effort in the church to pause and contemplate this issue for a while (corporately).

I had the priveledge of stepping into leadership at a local Crisis Pregnancy Center a few years ago. I cannot tell you how that year changed my life. Each girl brought with her a unique situation. Some had been gang raped, some were married, some carried stories that they will keep secret forever. Their situations were different but one thing they shared - a decision. A hard decision. This blog post is not for debating the right choice and the wrong choice, although I make no apologies for fighting for the life of unborn babies. This blog is to tell the story of a husband and wife who made a tough decision. It is told by my friend, Ivy. I will let you read for yourself why she is passionate about the sanctity of life...

Written October 5, 2010 by Ivy Laing

in 9 minutes, it will be Jamie's 19th birthday.

and in these 19 years I have seen His faithfulness like some people will never get to see.

oh, she will lay on a bed her whole life? Jesus proved them wrong.
oh, she will have seizures the rest of her life? Jesus used an amazing doctor to prove them wrong.
oh, she doesn't understand what is going on? anyone who meets Jamie obviously knows that Jesus proves them wrong daily.

she is perfect. how could she not be? she was created in His image. He made everything perfect in her body. every single DNA strand was knit together by our Creator. ever single brain cell was placed there by Him. and we don't doubt that. because He sees the whole story and we don't. He sees the glory He is receiving even in this very hour because of Jamie's life.
has it been a bed of roses? no. do we try to fake being a perfect family? once again, we can't even attempt that one. do we know that He chose us for this crazy journey? yes. and I take great hope in that. to know that He thought or knew we were able WITH Him to handle these 19 years and counting...gives me such peace.

I cannot wait until the day she walks and talks but until then I will hold to the hope that God is using her now. her perserverance can inspire. her smile will push others to strive for their dreams. and her love...the love that kisses strangers on the hand as they open the door...that love WILL CHANGE OUR WORLD. don't ever doubt what our God can do through a willing vessel. and Jamie is a willing vessel.

why not us?

it is a privilege and an honor to call Jamie Leigh Laing my baby sister. I have never been prouder.

and yes, she still sits in my lap.
and yes, some nights I "rock" her to sleep. you tell me you wouldn't do the same?! (that's what I thought:)

i will count and sort bears until she wants to quit. i will sing to her even though she laughs. and I will spoil her...just because I can.

she.is.an.angel.

happy birthday,
sissy. you mean the world to us.

and tomorrow...our discussion in class will be about why does misery happen to good people. we will talk about Job.

because He chooses us. :) and I am grateful.

God's Seal on Our Hearts

2011-01-26T10:01:00.007-05:00

I am supposed to be writing a blog entry right now for our Journey Through the Psalms series but during my time in God’s word this morning my socks were blessed right off my feet and I want to tell you why.

Before I get into the meat of what I discovered this morning I want to ask you a question. How secure do you feel about how much Jesus Christ loves YOU? Don’t answer too quickly. Think about it. A lot of people I know struggle with believing God loves so-and-so but not believing He loves them as much. I used to deal with this on a daily basis. I saw the blessings of God on the lives of others and came to the conclusion that He loved them but He only tolerated me. My jealousy over their accomplishments helped to fuel this wrong thinking. I knew I was jealous and I could suppress it for a little while but it always came back…and usually with a vengeance. The acknowledgement of my jealousy did nothing to fix the problem. There was only one thing that set me free from the captivity of that wrong thinking and that was learning/knowing/experiencing the truth about God’s love.

God used many scriptures to wash my heart and mind with His truth and many of those scriptures pointed to one thing consistently: His love FOR me has nothing to do WITH me. It was initiated BY Him and FOR Him. In my warped mind I had determined that the reason God loved so-and-so more than me was because they performed better for Him. I’m not talking about performance on a stage. I’m talking about performance in life…they knew His word better, they prayed more, they served more, they had better functioning families…you get the picture? When I got my theology and doctrine straight God blew those things out of the water and my relationship with Him became intimate and personal. And now, when God reveals nuggets of scripture to me to back up the work He did in my heart several years ago, I can’t help but praise Him from an overflowing heart of thankfulness and gratitude. Ok…now, on to what He showed me.

2 Timothy 2:19 says, “Nevertheless, the firm foundation of God stands, having this seal, “The Lord knows those who are His,” and, “Everyone who names the name of the Lord is to abstain from wickedness.” A very brief background on this scripture. Paul was writing to Timothy for a few reasons, one of which was to be aware of false teaching that was spreading at the time...hence the use of “nevertheless”. But what I want to focus on are the seals.

Seal #1 – “The Lord knows those who are His” – the word “know” in this verse doesn’t refer to factual knowledge but as a husband knows his wife…an intimate relationship. When I think of His love for me in those terms the only reference point I have is my relationship with Scott. There is no other person on this earth, and never will be, that knows me like him. He knows my dreams. He knows my hurts. He knows what brings me joy in life. He knows my insecurities. He knows my failures. Not only does he know these things, he loves me so much that he cares about them. He has concern for me. And his love for me is personal. He doesn’t love a single person on earth the way He loves ME. How much more is God’s love for me! Think about it!

Seal #2 - “Everyone who names the name of the Lord is to abstain from wickedness.” – John MacArthur says, “this statement is likely adapted from Numbers 16:26, and reflects a second mark of God’s ownership of believers, which is their pursuit of holiness.” If I ever have moments of not feeling good enough for God this second seal drives those moments away. Oh, it would be different if our holiness depended on us…but again, it doesn’t. When the blood of Jesus was shed for the atonement of our sin God began to see us through that crimson flow that justified us before Him. We don’t have to be overachievers and high performers in life to be holy…because of Jesus Christ we are holy.

As I was reading about these seals and thinking about how God places them on us, a song came to mind. If you are from Greenbriar, you know this song well. If you aren’t it will be posted at the end of this blog. What is important about the song is that it’s straight from scripture. Song of Solomon 8:5-7 says, “Put me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm. For love is strong as death, jealousy is as severe as Sheol; Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the Lord. Many waters cannot quench love, nor will rivers overflow it; if a man were to give all the riches of his house for love it would be utterly despised.” In this verse Solomon is speaking to the Shulamite woman but it is a good picture of Christ wooing us. Inviting us. Wanting to place His seal over our hearts. One more quick note from MacArthur and I’m done. He says about love in this verse: “This represents the 1 Corinthians 13:1-8 of the Old Testament. Four qualities of love appear…

• Love is unyielding in marriage as death is to life
• Love is intense like the brightest flame, perhaps as bright as the glory of the Lord
• Love is invincible or unquenchable, even when flooded by difficulty
• Love is so priceless that it cannot be bought, only given away”

…and if you bear the name of Jesus Christ you do so under the banner of His love. And His love for you…it’s intensely personal. Notice that Paul also says that God's foundation is FIRM. You are secure in His love! Spend some time with Him in prayer and worship.

KEEPING CHRIST IN CHRISTMAS

2010-12-10T12:10:00.002-05:00

Last year God began working in my heart about how Christmas is celebrated in our family. I took a mental inventory of all the traditions we followed: presents, Santa Claus, Christmas tree, nativity scene, Christmas cards, parties, food, 24/7 Christmas movies on cable...you name it, we were a part of it. Then, almost audibly, God asked me what separated my family’s celebration of Christmas from the celebrations of those who refuse to acknowledge Christ. Wow!

Needless to say I began to meditate on what I could do in my home to shift our focus back to Jesus Christ. One of the changes I made was actually an addition. I love to study the names of God – their meaning and the context they are used in scripture. Scott and I looked at the list of our favorite names of God, narrowed it down to twenty, or so, and I set out to make an ornament for each name. I sought out a new tree for my foyer, added rich fabric ribbon, a regal star on the top and added our new ornaments. With each name I added to the tree I turned my heart in praise to Christ for the ways He has personally been those things to me. For instance, my favorite name is El Roi, “the God Who sees me”. I am reminded that in the times I feel insignificant or ignored, God isn’t unaware of me. His eyes have me right in their sight! Our “Messiah” tree reminds us daily of the faithfulness of our God each time we arrive to or depart from our home.

After Scott’s mom passed away someone suggested to us that we light a candle during family events to remember her. That suggestion took root in my heart and caused me to set aside one particular candle for this purpose. This year I have applied that idea to Christmas. We added two candles to our mantle and one as a focal point of the nativity scene. When the candles are lit, they are a visual reminder that with the birth of Christ, the Light of the World came to dwell among us. It focuses our hearts.

One other way we are focusing our hearts this year is in the area of gifts. I believe Christmas should be celebrated BIG – decorations and all! We make birthday parties a big deal in our culture and my opinion is that Christ is worthy of the best party of all. I’ve heard a lot of religious objections lately about shopping, decorating and listening to Christmas music. I think that is throwing the baby out with the bath water. The Kavanaughs are choosing to refocus. We give gifts to others to bless them. This year, the very first gift we give will be a tangible gift to Christ. Our family will feed the homeless on Christmas Eve before we ever partake of a celebration in our comfortable home with all the provisions we could need or want. Will we give gifts to our children, family and friends? YES! Noelle Piper says, “God’s generosity is shown through God’s people". We will show generosity to others, but first and foremost we will show generosity to Christ who spared nothing to show generosity to us.

Those are just three things that help our family focus on Christ during the time of year when the world wants us to be too busy or too materialistic to focus on and honor Him. For more ideas and inspiration I recommend reading Treasuring God in Our Traditions by Noelle Piper. You will learn more ways you can help focus your family during Christmas including advent candles and advent calendars. This book goes beyond Christmas to daily traditions that will have a positive impact on your family’s spiritual growth. You can download the book for free at http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/online-books/treasuring-god-in-our-traditions.

BREATHE

2010-09-03T10:04:00.004-05:00

Life has been hectic lately. That's really the understatement of the century. In the past two months I have felt every emotion possible. There have been very joyful times when I've seen God do something I honestly thought He never would; there have been fun times, in new places, with new friends who feel like they have been around forever; there have been times my heart was ripped from chest leaving me feeling that I would die from the pain; there have been very honest moments between God and me. MANY things in the past two months...and each time God proved to be my faithful warrior, comforter, defender, shield, protector.

Things have settled down for the time being and for the first time in SEVEN years, Scott and I are getting away for our 13th anniversary. Just two chairs, two beach blankets, two for breakfast, lunch & dinner. Two.

We went to the beach on our honeymoon...gosh, we were so young! We were also so poor! Children were not even on the radar and yet, looking back it feels as if they've always been with us. God has blessed us beyond measure...and looking back, I would do it all over again!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, SCOTT!

AVOIDING TROUBLE

2010-06-03T21:22:00.003-05:00

Have you ever had a decision to make when the situation was completely in the gray area? Situations where scripture is silent? Our ladies group is currently going through Beth Moore’s Breaking Free Bible Study. The second week of this study focuses on five primary benefits of being free in Christ. As I was looking over my notes preparing for class I realized that these are not only benefits of being free, but if you make them into a grid in which you filter every decision you face, they become safe guards to keep you from stepping into bondage. Here are the benefits and the question you can ask yourself before making a decision.

Benefit #1 is to know God and believe Him. If I do this thing, will it result in me knowing God more? Will I grow more intimately to Him through this?

Benefit #2 is to glorify God. If I do/say this thing that will be seen/heard by others, will they be even more convinced of my Savior or will they believe me to be a hypocrite?

Benefit #3 is to find satisfaction in God. Will this thing cause me to continue to seek God or will it make me seek things that the world says is satisfying (money, better house, nicer car, etc).

Benefit #4 is to experience God’s peace. Will this thing cause any chaos to sneak into my life?

Benefit #5 is to enjoy God’s presence. Will this thing take my focus away from God in any way?

Let me give you an example of running a simple decision through this grid. I love movies – all types, as long as it is well made. I think there are many, many movies that lie in the gray area. There are some, however, that even though they are more appealing than a flame is to a moth, they will burn you if you get too close. Run the movie through the grid of the benefits.

Will the movie cause you to know God and believe Him more? Some answers will be neither here nor there on this one. We could say that unless the movie is faith-based there is no way it would cause someone to know God more. There could be a tendency to become legalistic (which is bondage in itself) so we have to be careful.

By seeing this movie will I glorify God? This is the question in our grid that will be the deciding question. There is NO WAY, let me repeat that, NO WAY that a believer can take part of movies with naked actors/actresses in sex scenes. If you can scripturally prove me wrong I would encourage you to comment or email me. There’s definitely no way to be seen in that atmosphere and have any credibility to share Christ with someone who sees you.

Will this movie increase my satisfaction in God? Will I be able to look at the actresses and not compare myself with their appearance? Will I become dissatisfied with my husband based on the male characters? Don’t laugh…I’ve heard too many grown women talk about Edward and Jacob as if they are real! No real man stands a chance!

Will this movie cause me to experience God’s peace? A few years ago, I went to see a movie with a friend. I had a check in my spirit, but I ignored it. I left the movie theater feeling as if I had cheated on God. I was truly brokenhearted. I asked God to forgive me and I truly believe He did. But you know what; Satan ripped me to shreds for three whole weeks. Think ahead…will there be any room for Satan to creep in and condemn you? If so, trust me, it is not worth it!

Will I be able to enjoy God’s presence? The Holy Spirit dwells inside of each believer. So many times we need to ask ourselves if we should be ashamed of the places we take Him.

This was a difficult blog for me to write…mainly because I’m so far from having it all together. But I’ve made some dumb decisions in my thirty-two years of life and I have learned the hard way from them. God currently has me in a different place in life. He has required me to step it up and in some cases give things up. And I’m okay with that because he has placed in me a passion to declare His name and I want to walk in a manner that’s worthy of that calling. So, my prayer is that somehow God will take the ramblings and use them to encourage someone who is in the gray.
2 Corinthians 5 & 6

LEGACY

2010-05-18T18:30:00.008-05:00

I've listened to more sermons on leaving a strong legacy more times than I can possibly recall. I always leave feeling inspired thinking of the generations to come after me. I guess in my mind I didn't realize how soon the legacy would begin to form...and form it has!

I am a singer. I have been a singer since the age of seven when I debuted at Ed's Truck Stop :) in Poulan, GA. I remember what I sang. I remember what I wore. I remember the euphoric feeling when it was all over...the song wasn't the only thing that was over. I was done...ruined for anything but music for the rest of my life. I left that tiny stage that night knowing that singing would forever be a part of who I would be.

While God has definitely shifted my focus for a while, I was mostly right. I can't think of a time that I have not been singing. It provides me a unique way to express to God what is in my heart. I love lyrics that are rich with descriptions of our love of Christ. Harmonies that unite together resulting in the richest of sounds. I'm telling you...music is just in me!

Singing is one thing. Being an authentic worshipper while leading others is another. It took me some time and painful bumps in the road for me to learn and display the difference. Leading with any sin in your life...no matter how "big" or "small" is hypocritical and harmful to the body of Christ. Leading in worship is one of the biggest responsibilities right under the pastor. I can't think of any other position where the move from spiritual to fleshly can be such a slow fade. I've walked that road and I don't plan on ever going that way again.

This legacy came upon me with overwhelming speed. My youngest daughter, who is gifted in several ways artistically, was asked to help lead worship with our friend, TJ. He wanted to publicly affirm her gift so that she would be motivated at an early age to pursue God in this area. I was happy for Emily. I thought about how much fun she would have and the sense of accomplishment she would experience when she was done....

Then it hit me! As we were singing the first song waiting on Em to go up next it hit me that I had to help her begin this pursuit well. I had to pass on a legacy of being a worship leader...one who should be, by all accounts, "invisible" while at the same time pointing others to Christ in worship. No room for pride. No room for self. I leaned over to my sweet, little Em and prayed a blessing over her so that she could hear. I pray that my requests to God on her behalf took root deep in her heart. After I was done I shared a few things with her...and then she took her place.

I cried. I cried not only because I was a proud Mom and that's just what we're supposed to do. I cried because my little eight year old daughter was leading ME and her DADDY in worship! I cannot describe the feeling. Who would have thought that "full circle" would come so soon? I cried because I know her worship was authentic. I see it in her life daily. I cried as she sang words so rich with truth and I begged God to plant them so deep in her heart that they would ruin her for anything else but HIM!!!!

I'm not sure what God has planned for Emily. Her life was unique even while she was in the womb. She lives a life of uniqueness each day based on what God has willed for her so far. This I know...I will work hard on the legacy!

***Photos by Jaye Bice (jbicephotography.blogspot.com)

WHAT and IF

2010-05-17T19:56:00.002-05:00

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about city transformation. I’ve been paying more attention than usual to my surroundings as I drive through town. I’ve noticed a lot more homeless people which has resulted in the give away of three hot fast-food breakfasts that I had purchased for my convenience and a stash of ready-to-eat military meals in my backseat. I’ve listened to people more and asked questions about their lives resulting in an opportunity to pray for a favorite waitress who has just learned she has cancer. I have to be honest – the more I watch and listen the more I have the tendency to become overwhelmed by the task that lies ahead.

This weekend I did something I never do – I went to the movies with a few girlfriends. The movie was Letters to Juliet and while my cohorts left with hearts full of romance, I left with inspiration. I won’t spoil the movie for you but obviously a letter was involved. The letter contained my inspiration: “"What ,and If." Those two words standing alone are basically harmless, but link them together and those two words possess great power. What if?”

I’ve internalized that quote from the movie since Friday night. What if our church pleaded with God each week (consistently) to transform Albany? What if each one of us rolled up our sleeves and committed to a volunteer area within our church in order to be prepared each week for the people we are asking God to bring? What if each of us woke up each day with the sole mindset of bringing God all the glory we possibly can? The momentum of unity alone would propel us upward. It’s inspiring, isn’t it?

Let’s look at it another way. What if we don’t give our tithes and offerings so that ministry can take place week-to-week? What if we come to church to sing a few songs, hear a good message and go back to our comfortable lives? What if we leave the outcome of our city to the elected officials? What if we just concentrate on ourselves and “mind our own business”? I don’t have to look too far back into church history to tell you that we would be one dead church in one dying city!

I don’t know about you but I’m choosing the first set of “what ifs”! It’s a HUGE task, I know. It can only be accomplished through prayer, faith and action. What is your action plan? Do you have a place of service? Are you coming to IMPACT on Sunday mornings? Do you give your tithe regularly? If you haven’t been doing these things there is good news! You can start fresh TODAY! If you need help, let us know. We can help you get started.

You don’t want to miss out on what God is going to do!

KAVANAUGH UPDATE

2010-02-25T21:22:00.009-05:00

I was born into ministry. My father, an ordained Southern Baptist minister, began his ministry in his early 20’s and is still going at it today. I can remember going to his office after school…nosing around in all that he had going on. I looked through Bible studies. But not just the member book but the leader guide. I always thought the leader guide suited me. ;) I watched everything from how he laid out a newsletter (at that time is was the scissors and glue method) to how he produced a musical. It’s all in my DNA.

Fast forward *ahem* many years to my first full time ministry job as an assistant. Steve was my boss and assimilation was our main focus. Before this point in my life I had never even heard the word assimilation. I learned a lot from Steve about this big word with a simple mission: helping people plug into a church. I watched at Steve built relationships with people out of genuine care and concern. Then, he integrated them into the lives of other solid members…resulting in relationships being built. Other natural steps in the process followed that…connection to Sunday school classes, service areas and ultimately to the church body. He was a natural.

My second boss at the same church was Stephen. I have volumes of notebooks containing what I learned from him but one thing has become part of my nature. No one could tell Stephen that something couldn’t be done. “It’s not possible” was never a phrase that existed in his vocabulary. While this started out as a huge frustration for me, ultimately, I bought into that mindset...and it’s one I live by. If God has put a dream in your heart…no matter how big or impossible it seems…He will make it happen. Stephen also taught me to dream BIG. It doesn’t take a lot of “guts” to be status quo…but when you want to be someone who shakes the status quo for the cause of Christ, dreaming big is a necessity. (By the way…so are “guts”) ;)

Fast forward again to September ’09. I remember calling my friend, Tracy, one afternoon to share my heart. I ended the conversation with this statement: “Tracy, mark my words…God is about to shake up the Kavanaughs. I don’t know specifics but I know its coming.” There were a few events that occurred after that conversation that gave me a small peak into what the shake up was going to be and in November God made it crystal clear – He was calling me to another church to oversee Assimilation, Prayer Ministry (also a previous area I worked in with a church body that is characterized by their discipline in intercession) and Women’s Ministry (God changed this woman’s heart and I’ve has a passion for helping women grow ever since). God had taken my passions and training and compiled them into one position. I was floored. I was blessed.

I’ve been on the job since January 1 and all I can say is it has been one wild and crazy ride so far! We have kicked off our prayer ministry. We are in the process of building the framework for assimilation. We are kicking off small groups AND the women’s ministry in just a few short weeks. My heart is FULL!!!!

Allow me one more paragraph or two to tell about our small groups. We will have three main groups: Men, Women and one group that fits everyone. Out of each of these main groups we will created 4 or 5 missional subgroups whose main purpose is to do missions in our community. We want to shake this city up with the love of Christ by living out authentic, godly lives. This means we must grow in the Word and serve. Small groups accomplishes both!
So, if you do not have a church home…you are officially invited to Greenbriar Church. If you are a woman who is seeking to connect with other Christian women through Bible study and service…join me on March 24 as we kick off Transformed…Greenbriar Women.

Thanks for allowing me to tell my story and where we are as a family. By the way, Scott Kavanaugh is in his zone as well. He is now the Service Production Director which means he is responsible for making sure everything goes well for services. Now, those who really know him will know this is his sweet spot. I'm glad he has found his sweet spot in ministry! I love him tremendously! :)

CONVICTION

2010-02-15T22:02:00.001-05:00

Greenbriar Church staff meetings. There really is no way to describe them. I am the only female in a room full of males. Needless to say, things can become pretty comical! (And most of the time they are laughing but I’m clueless.) I love our time together for many reasons…obviously, laughter is one of them. Another reason is that my family “does life” with these guys and their families…that results in a special bond that doesn’t always happen among church staff. We care for one another. We encourage one another. We teach one another. We hold each other accountable.

Which brings me to today’s staff meeting. Johnny, our College Minister, brought the devotional. To sum it all up it was about the necessity of abiding in Jesus Christ (the Vine) and bearing our own fruit instead of living on the fruit that someone else gets from abiding in Him. The main way we depend on the fruit of others to satisfy us is in the area of Bible study. So often we hear a sermon or lesson that someone else has prepared and we try to live off that instead of going to the Word on our own to see what God has specifically for us. Johnny gave everyone an index card and instructed us to begin writing all of the scriptures we knew…verbatim, with references. Talk about convicting!!!! My poor, pathetic card!

I can find any scripture in the Bible that I need. I’m not talking about going to the concordance. I mean that I know the vicinity of what I’m looking for and can dig for it. BUT, that is not good enough!!!! As we were talking about Johnny’s challenge, I recalled all of the times I have wondered what would happen if the Bible was outlawed in America. What if I had no tangible copy in my hand? I shudder to think about it.

Needless to say, today, I have been convicted. And, today, I must begin doing something about it. My plan? I am adding daily scripture memorization to my Personal Growth Plan. I am beginning tomorrow with the book of James. My goal is to really get it into my heart…not just my head. Anyone up for the challenge?

PRESSURE

2009-12-06T20:53:00.002-05:00

I'm always amused by ironies. Oddly enough, one of the ironies that amazes me is that to make a weak bone strong you must perform weight bearing exercises. It makes no sense to me. If something is weak, I say let it have a rest! :)

The same thing is true in our walk with Jesus. To strengthen us, sometimes He has to put weight on us. The Master Trainer. :)

It's during those times that I am especially thankful for the "secret place". My time...alone...with my Creator and Lord...who guides, directs, comforts and instructs. Strength is renewed. Discernment is given. Steps on the path are revealed.

God is amazing!

Susan Kavanaugh

2009-11-05T17:03:00.001-05:00

Six years ago this afternoon a big piece of our heart was taken with Susan Kavanaugh on her journey home. After an 8 month battle with cancer, God’s grace and mercy ended her suffering. It was the hardest time we've ever been through so far our lives. She was more than just a mother-in-law to me. She loved me as much as she loved her flesh and blood children…at least I never felt loved any less than them. :)

I first met Susan long before I even knew she even had a son. I will never forget the day. I was a freshman at Darton College. My advisor had allowed me to sign up for a class that had a prerequisite that, being a first-semester freshman, I did not have. So, I had to go to evening registration in the Student Center to drop that class and add another. I stood outside of the locked glass doors waiting with all of the others. It was, by my watch, the precise time that the doors should open. I have to be honest and say that I was a little aggravated that the woman sitting on a chair right by the door would not unlock it. BUT, I just couldn’t get mad because she was so pretty and graceful. She was talking with some other people in the room with her and her smile was so contagious…who could get mad?!? Needless to say, that was Susan. I had no idea that within a little over a year, I would be engaged to her son.

If you did not have the privilege of knowing Susan, I’d like to describe her to you. First of all, she was beautiful and graceful – very easily gave Princess Diana a run for her money! She was the woman in the room that caught your attention no matter how much distance was between you and her. She just drew you in…you had no say in the matter…you were captivated! :)

She loved her family more than life! There is nothing that she wouldn’t have done for any of us. She cooked for us all the time – loved to have us around her table…and as newlyweds we took her up on the offer many times a week. We were her top priority…we never had any doubts about that! Thanksgiving and Christmas are bittersweet for us. This was her favorite time of year and she spent all of the extra time in her days showing love to us. There are so many special memories we hold in our hearts.

She loved her friends. If you were Susan’s friend you reaped the same benefits as her family. And just let her hear that you are either getting married or having a baby and she would spoil you with attention! I love being around all of her old friends to hear stories that go back 30 years ago! It testifies that she was a faithful friend.

She loved Jesus! She knew where her security lied. When Scott and I would be struggling through the first few years of marriage and getting settled financially and in our jobs her first response to every problem we had was, “We just have to pray about!” She never tried to fix it herself or give advice right off the bat. She pointed us to God FIRST. I have no doubt she spent hundreds of hours praying for us!
Susan called me one day a few months before we knew she was sick. We had noticed several personality changes and a few physical things as well. She was at home from work with what we all thought was another sinus infection. Hannah Grace and Emily had spent the night with her a few nights prior to this day. She said, “I was just sitting here in my chair, looked over at the fish (Hannah Grace’s favorite – beta fish in a peace plant) and noticed Hannah Grace’s handprints were left all over it. It made me think of her and I just smiled.” Hannah Grace had left a mark and that mark brought Susan comfort. Here we are, six years after losing such a precious person, and HER marks are still evident in our lives. Each year that passes brings a little more healing but the void is and will always be there. The marks she left, still as strong, makes it bearable.

We often say that going through this experience automatically enrolls you in a club that no one wants to be a part of but once you’re in it, you are a changed person. You can choose to be changed for the better or for the worst. God’s grace has pulled us to the better. He keeps our family ties strong. Each time she poured love on us we were unknowingly sitting in God’s classroom learning how to love one another. She was a great teacher!

Some of you are probably crying at this point…especially if you knew her. But here’s what you must take away: “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in ALL circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.” -1 Thessalonians 5:16-18. I watched as my husband read this verse to our whole church just two weeks after his mom died. Was it hard to read? YES!!!! Did he mean it? YES!!!!! Was it even harder to live out? STILL IS!!!!! But know that WHATEVER situation you are in – easy or hard – it is safe to go ahead and praise God for it! I have no doubt that God’s heart broke for us as He watched us grieve. What I also have no doubt about is the comfort He gave and the plan He has! He is a good God – even in the darkest of circumstances. List your blessings today! Write them out on paper! Spend time thanking Him! He is good!

YOUR BLOG DESIGN STINKS!

2009-10-28T13:29:00.006-05:00

That, my dear friends, is a paraphrase of what MY OWN HUSBAND said to me this morning! Can you believe it? I told him this was going to be my blog topic for today but I don't think he believed me.

Am I hurt or upset? Goodness NO! He says things like that because he KNOWS what I'm capable of and he pushes me to do my BEST!

So, keep looking for a new blog design!

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT FALL

2009-10-27T08:05:00.016-05:00

Fall and winter are my favorite times of the year! I get happier...my mood lifts and stress decreases. It's all because I cannot tolerate South Georgia heat and humidity so by the time we actually experience fall I am past ready. Here are some other reasons why I love fall:

1. Falling leaves. I LOVE driving/walking outside when the wind is blowing and leaves are swirling all around. It's almost romantic.

2. Mums! I love them but Scott doesn't care for them too much so we don't have them. I love the various colors and designs in the petals.

3. Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte. Scott patrons Starbucks almost daily. My heart smiles when I get that phone call or text: "PSL has arrived at Starbucks today."

4. Fall Porch Decor. Women in the south who have an eye for all things fashionable are experts at fall porches. Since we do not have the blessing of watching leaves change colors here in the south we have to re-create the process. Oranges, browns, reds and greens adorn most house fronts.

5. The fair. Complete with a hot dog and elephant ear. When I was younger I would go on all the rides that turn you upside down and inside out but I can't do that anymore. I guess it's just part of aging.

6. The morning sky. It's different in the fall. I love waking up to crisp, cool air and a purple and pink sky. God paints those for us, you know! Isn't He good?!?!

7. The nighttime. I love the time around 4pm when the sun falls slightly to cast shadows in my home that only happens in the fall. Then, it becomes dark much sooner than the summer. It almost slows life down. For the Kavanaugh family, slowing down is a welcomed thing!

8. Turtlenecks & Sweaters. Most people around the country pull these out in September. Not us! In the south you might be lucky enough to pull them out in October. I love turtlenecks and sweaters!

9. Cornbread Dressing. I grew up loving cornbread dressing and we only had it twice a year - Thanksgiving and Christmas. When I got married that was one of the first dishes that I had to learn to make. At first I followed my grandmother's and mother's recipe but eventually I made it my own. Scott says it's the best he's ever had...even told my Grandmother and Mom that....can you believe it!?

10. Pumpkin Pie. This is an indulgence of mine that can only occur a few times a year or I'd be bigger than a house! You know the Philosophy brand of shower gel? The Pumpkin Pie shower gel has a recipe for Pumpkin Pie on the bottle....go try it! I'm just sayin'! Granddaddy Kavanaugh had a saying when he ate something good......Pow Budduh!

11. The Today Show. This is weird, I know. But honestly, the show is more interesting to me in the fall. Maybe it's because they have segments that pertain to my favorite time of year...comfort foods, fall fashion, etc. At any rate, it's more enjoyable to watch in the fall.

I HAVE AN ADDICTION!

2009-10-26T06:50:00.003-05:00

It's official...I'm addicted! If my husband would have been with me he would have died of embarrassment...just hearing the story almost did him in! I was in Sunday School by myself yesterday. EK is feeling a bit under-the-weather and Scott stayed home with her. Like all good Southern Baptists we eat each week in Sunday School...and where there is food there must be beverages. While I was in the beverage line looking at my options my eye was caught by the big black and hot pink......BOX TOP! It was calling my name from the Juicy Juice bottle...just staring at me, begging to be torn off! Of course, I couldn't just rip the thing off because it could have been brought in by another mom with a Box Top addiction who was planning to clip it and send it into her child's school. So, I tried, with as much discretion as I could to ask around..."Do you know who brought this Juicy Juice in?" Well, discretion only lasted for so long...people wanted to know WHY I wanted to know! When I told them, I was amazed to find that the other moms understood my plight! Eventually, I found that the bottle belonged to a friend whose child is in preschool. So, I ripped that box top right off and stuck it in my Bible!

Is that sad?!?!.....wait, don't answer that! :)

Uncommon!

2009-10-24T20:10:00.003-05:00

I was visiting one of my favorite blogs tonight and found this post by Lysa TerKeurst, founder of Proverbs31 Ministries. Having two daughters, a lot of these things are already on my prayer list for them.

Rise above the girlish chatter and gossip. When people talk about others in hushed whispers, they are saying nothing but how insecure they are about themselves. Be uncommon sweetheart.

Rise above the daily beauty contest. You can't see it now, but you have the makings of a gorgeous woman inside and out. Be uncommon sweetheart.

Rise above the incessant need most teens have for someone else validate your worth. No boy will ever be capable of truly making you feel pretty, witty, and loved. Let Jesus fill up those spaces in your heart and eventually show you a boy worth your time. Be uncommon sweetheart.

Rise above the talk about first kisses and stolen moments. Realize how precious and priceless your purity is. What a beautiful thing it is that you still have the gift of a first kiss to give. Be uncommon sweetheart.

THE GOD WHO SEES ME!

2009-10-21T21:51:00.004-05:00

Have you ever felt insignificant? Like people seem to look past you and never know you are there? There have been times in my life that I have felt invisible. Dismissed. Not good enough. Ignored. Disliked. Uncared for.

Remember Hagar? God had promised Abraham that He would bless him with descendants that outnumbered the stars in the sky. When a child didn’t come immediately, Sarah took matters into her own hands. The result was a child fathered by Abraham through Hagar. The Bible tells us that Hagar became embittered with Sarah because Sarah had used Hagar to get what she wanted. Ultimately, Sarah treated her so badly that Hagar fled into the wilderness.

Let’s pause here for a moment and look at a few things. First, imagine what Hagar must have been feeling. She had been used and disregarded. Has that ever happened to you? A friend or loved one uses you for the sole purpose of their own good? It’s not a warm feeling is it? Second, scripture doesn’t tell us just how far along Hagar is into her pregnancy. At any rate, she is in the wilderness…alone…maybe even feeling insignificant given the circumstances. But what happens next captures my heart.

The Angel of the Lord appeared to her and asked, “…where have you come from and where are you going?” Hagar says hat she is fleeing from Sarah. The Angel of the Lord tells her to return to Sarah and submit to her. He also said that He would make the number of her descendants too many to count. Her son would be called Ishmael. He also described Ishmael’s temperament and future. What Hagar says next is the most worshipful and meaning statement to me… “You are a God Who sees,” or “You are the Living One who sees me.” Can you imagine feeing insignificant and dismissed and suddenly having an encounter with your Creator that lets you know beyond any doubt that you are significant to Him?

I don’t have to imagine it…I know first hand. I remember the day. When His love for me became so personal it was overwhelming. I realized that God…loves…ME. He sees ME. I’m not just an abstract thought in His mind or a blip on His radar. He’s active in every moment of my life. Like Hagar, the encounter left me changed forever.

How glorious is our God!
Genesis 16 and Psalm 139

2009-10-19T11:05:00.002-05:00

R.I.P my dear fuzzy slippers! Anyone who has worked backstage with me at any event is well aquainted with them. They have served their purpose well but much to my husband's delight they have bitten the dust. Now, I must find a new pair to carry on the job!

2009-10-15T06:12:00.005-05:00

This morning I am sitting at my computer wearing my comfortable robe. I am minutes away from brewing a wonderful smelling pot of coffee. I have gotten my children ready for school and sent them off on their way with my husband. On my agenda today: finish some design work, go to a hair appointment, run school play rehearsal and work on the details of the Spooky Goulash Bash for over 200 children. Somewhere in there I may even get a chance to have lunch with a friend. Oh, and there is a certificate in my wallet for a pedicure...if I felt like cramming that in as well.

Do you know what breaks my heart? There is a girl in Cambodia right now who is locked up and sitting in a dark room waiting in terror for the next man who will come in and rape her. Minutes, maybe hours after that, the next one will come in...and the next...and the next. That is her day.

I sit here free...in every sense of the word. I am free to do all of those things I mentioned earlier. Free to hug my children and my husband. Free to get in the car and drive to see a friend or just to be pampered at a salon. I also have the ultimate freedom of living in Jesus Christ.

I've been extremely burdened over the last few days for these women who are experiencing the darkest, most vile evil I can imagine. As a Christian, I am heartbroken and moved with compassion. As a woman, I am infuriated. The problem of human trafficking is so much bigger than me but God has spoken to my heart that I can do something. From where ever I am, at any point of my day, I can pray. Is my faith so immature that I have forgotten that is the MOST powerful thing I can do? Is my unbelief so big that I forget at any moment Jesus Christ can make a way of escape for these women and children? In the midst of the tragedy God IS good! He alone can reach the women that I cannot.

Please pray! Pray for their salvation - physically and spiritually. Ask God to burden your heart. Ask Him to remind you of their plight when you have forgotten.

"Rescue the weak and needy;

Deliver them out of the hand of the wicked."

Psalm 82:4

The bow on the Package!

2009-10-13T12:30:00.001-05:00

I love fine things. I’m not sure what events fostered this in my life as my taste has always far out-weighed my wallet. I love rich colors. I love fine fabrics. I love rare flowers. I would walk over hot coals for diamonds and sapphires. At the perfume counter, you can bet I’m going for the most luxurious smell with the highest price tag. I don’t set out to want the most expensive…it just happens. I’ve figured out the reason I love finer things is mostly because they have a quality that sets them apart from the rest. My favorite line is they have a quality that is the bow on the package.

That’s another thing I love, by the way – gift wrap! I’m a sucker for it. Cute gift bags with brightly colored…or better yet, patterned tissue. Uniquely shaped giftboxes with just the right design just makes my heart happy! But my favorite thing by far has always been the bow! Each Christmas this is evident. I drive my husband and children nuts trying to determine what our gift wrap theme will be so that I can find the perfect ribbon. These can be tense moments because my hubby leans toward non-traditional colors (think blues and even black) while I like to stick with more traditional (reds, green, lime green, etc). We both agreed a long time ago that when the Kavanaughs give a gift to someone the wrapping was going to be a force to contend with! Our first Christmas as a married couple was my favorite! We had no money for the kind of wrapping that we wanted…ribbon was a luxury. We disliked (and still do) the premade, shiny, sticky bows. So, I spent hours cutting the wrapping paper into ¼” strips of paper and curling them into ribbon which I sewed together with a needle and thread. It was the prettiest bow I had ever seen! Thank goodness, our budget has allowed for real ribbon for the past several years…and each gift gets one ( a handmade bow). Why go to so much trouble? Because the person receiving the gift is worth it!

I was in a meeting a few weeks ago with a very good friend and a new client. The friend called the meeting together to discuss design options for the new client’s Christian newsletter. My friend said, “The secular world is driven by excellent packaging/ marketing of their products. They work to have the best designs, colors, prints, etc. As Christians shouldn’t we want the best packaging for our ‘product’?”

So, I’ve made that question personal over the last few weeks. What does my “packaging” of Christ look like to the world? Do I give it my personal best or do I make do with shiny, sticky bows? Can the world tell from looking at my “work” that there is a Creator bigger than me? Can they look at my actions and my speech and know that I am walking in such a way as to give glory to God? Can they look at my home and tell that the Lord of my life is a God of order and worthy of my best? Can my husband and children look at my packaging and know all of these things? (ouch!)

Why go to so much trouble? Because the gift that I display to the world is the most valuable, most expensive gift they could ever possess. He is worth the finest packaging. Don’t you agree?

KAVANAUGH REVOLUTION

2009-08-25T19:34:00.003-05:00

We are trying something new in the Kavanaugh home - more structure. We aren't too laid back but we haven't been as structured as we need to be on a few details. This is week two of the new process and things are looking pretty good.

First of all there is diet. This is especially important for us because EE has Celiac Disease - an autoimmune disease which requires the elimination of wheat gluten from her diet. You can imagine what this means...no breads, cakes, cookies, etc. For the first year things were very hard for us. We NEVER knew what to eat and what not to eat. But that was six years ago. I've gotten very familiar with how to make something gluten free...and this requires me to make everything from scratch.

Eating out isn't totally out of the question. Up until a few weeks ago we were a family that ate out more than we ate in. A very busy schedule makes it almost impossible to eat at home. We have our regular spots where we know EE can find gluten free items. Here's the thing: a few times I have found onion rings (battered in wheat) in her french fries. (Yes, one little crumb can wreak havoc on her) There's also the fact that most of the things she can have are very high in fat and sugar. It makes me feel like the world's worst mom when I let her have those things.

So, one of the decisions we made was to park it at our dining room table. It has been quite fun as I have tried new recipes and even veggies that I have never eaten before. Some things have worked very well, some are mediocre and some...well, not so much. But it HAS been fun! It's also healthier. I know for a fact that every bite EE is putting into that cute tummy is good for her and will not cause her to be sick. THAT is worth i.

The second big change is "THE LIST". Have you ever been to the point that you realized you have been doing EVERYTHING for EVERYBODY? Well, Scott noticed this for me...and I'm glad he did. He's trying to help me see that the girls need to take a lot more responsibility than they have been. He made "THE LIST" that the girls have to check each morning and afternoon to make sure everything is done. From cleaning their room to making their own lunches the girls are doing their share! It's been so nice to move that burden from my shoulders to theirs. At first I didn't know what to think about it but I see now that it will benefit them greatly.

One of the other things Scott has done....he takes the girls to school each morning. This provides me with extra time to clean, do laundry, work or get PTO stuff done...in quiet. :) He's a good man!

Not all change is good...but what's been taking place at our house is WONDERFUL! :)

I HAVE A DREAM!

2009-08-17T19:05:00.004-05:00

It's not a high and noble dream like Martin Luther King...but still...it's my dream. It's certainly not the same dream I had five years ago. Back then I would have given my right arm to be in the Christian music industry. I would have bet my life that was the calling God had placed on me. So many things have happened since then, namely a "bigger than me" confrontation with the Lord. It was my "Jacob" moment. The moment when I finally stopped wrestling with God...the moment that He "marked" me forever so that I would never forget it!

So, I died to that dream...and when I did I saw other God-given gifts in my life that He chose to foster. He has provided me ample opportunities to use these gifts and I've taken each one! He really has blessed me...and now - I feel that the crossroads is in the horizon. A point at which I will be faced with the decision to grow or to plateau. What's stopping me from growing? I'm not really sure. Part of it is a fear of failure...but that's not of Him if I truly believe He is pointing me in that direction. Part of it is lack of resources...but I know that He has everything available to Him and therefore to me if He wills. So, I guess what's stopping me is the absence of a clear word...the path I'm supposed to take.

It's probably no coincidence that our Pastor spoke this past Sunday of Robert Frost's The Road Less Travelled and Jesus' teaching on the broad and narrow. I suppose a lot of people have gone down the path the I'm feeling called to. One Google search proves that it's a pretty travelled path. I can't help but think on the flip side that the road becomes pretty narrow when it's God who calls you to travel it! The fork in the road is on the horizon but in the mean time I will pray and wait...and hopefully He will keep fostering the gift!

Dreading Tomorrow

2009-08-06T21:45:00.003-05:00

Tomorrow is D-Day...the day we've been dreading now for a few weeks...Scott's tonsillectomy. This is a simple surgery with a mean recovery. Scott HATES to have sore throats. Give him any other pain than that. Several people have told him the worst pain they ever experienced was after having their tonsils removed. I have a feeling it's going to be a rough weekend.

It's rather weird what I've done to prepare for tomorrow...I boarded the dogs. They are playful little pups who are accustomed to waking up at 6am...whether you're ready or not. They bark and growl at one another while playing. It just wouldn't have made for a peaceful environment. I have cleaned...everything...even the carpet. Don't ask me why...it's just the way I am. I have to have clean carpet before I leave town and, apparently, before surgeries. :) The only logical thing that I didn't do was to buy groceries. Go figure!

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!

2009-08-05T19:22:00.009-05:00

It was here before I knew it and now...it has passed. The first day of school! We've been very busy this week catching up from last week's events and planning for Scott's tonsillectomy this Friday. While we were prepared for the first day of school, it just didn't feel like the first day of school. I've felt rushed this week with all of my responsibilities at work and the girl's school. Usually, I savor every moment of helping to pack book bags the night before and soak in all the fun of the morning. This year, I delegated book bags to Scott, lunches to the girls and my morning was spent just trying to get out the door! HOWEVER...we had enough time to stop and take a photo....Now, the little one smiled and was very excited. My eldest, on the other hand, was a different story. The only way I coaxed her into getting in the picture was to say, "I can either take the picture here or at school outside of your classroom." She got in front of the camera in a hurry. ;) The eldest was NOT happy to be starting back to school...no way, no how! I heard about how boring it was going to be and how it just wasn't fair...and someone should be sued for making her read four books over the summer. It was pitiful. I knew there were some other issues that she wasn't very excited about facing as well. We had talked about it the night before. So, as I waited in the carpool pick-up line all I could do was pray that God would give her a joyful attitude no matter how her day went. God is faithful...
This, my friends, is the result of a VERY good day! The issues will still be there tomorrow...but for today they were mastered! Looking at her is like looking 23 years into the past at myself!!! I know exactly how she's wired because she's her mother's daughter. We are headstrong and we stand firm...that's a great thing when you are standing against a wrong...but when used incorrectly it can wreak havoc! She made good decisions today and was the leader God made her to be. I'm proud of her...beyond words! :)

So, it's almost time for bed. The end to the first day of school. There are only 170-ish left! :)

SCHOOL'S IN SESSION!!!!

2009-07-31T20:07:00.006-05:00

Does anyone else but me hear that sound? It is the sound of a school bell and it's getting louder by the day! Now, let me be clear...I realize that "back-to-school" means that my precious ones are getting older - growing up. I do not wish these years away because I can't even think about them being old enough to leave my nest one day. However, I can hardly contain my excitement that SCHOOL IS ABOUT TO START!!!!!!

In just 5 days my home will be mine again! There will be no little people here for hours on end making big messes due to boredom. No little snipped ends of Popsicle wrappers for me to find in the strangest places because someone decided to sneak them. No more paint speckles in my bathtub. (And really, why did they have to use my bathtub anyway? Wouldn't theirs have sufficed?) No more, "She's looking at me and won't stop!" or, "She's breathing too loud!" for me to hear every waking minute.

In just FIVE days (count them and relish..1..2...3...4...5) I will drop them off at school and come back home for a hot cup of coffee...in the QUIET!!! And then, you want to know what I'll do? The moment will be fleeting and then I will realize that 2 extensions of me are not there. I will start to miss them and get all weepy about the fact that they have moved up one whole grade! Then, I'll watch the clock, eagerly awaiting 2:30 when I will pick them up and hopefully hear about their day.

Ahhh...the life of a Mom! Love it!

Numbers

2009-07-30T23:22:00.009-05:00

Have you ever stopped to think how much we rely on numbers? They drive the clock. It seems like most of our society today is watching the stock market. We either cringe or sigh when we look at our check book. They make up our speed limit. Houses and lots are marked by them. There are countless ways that numbers play a part of our every day life.

Thoughts like this come to me a lot. The thought of the importance of numbers came to me in my grandfather's hospital room this past Sunday as he was dying. As I was sitting by his bed holding his hand, my eyes were glued to the monitor above me. For a little while the numbers stayed in the same general area but before I knew it...and certainly before I wanted them to...they began to quickly change. With each passing second his oxygen level, blood pressure and heart rate dropped.

So many thoughts ran through my mind. I wondered, here in the moments of his death, what it was like in the moments he was born? What were the most important moments in his life? What was he like as a little boy? Could he have ever imagined so long ago that this day would arrive seemingly so quickly? So many emotions flooded my heart in those moments. One part of me wanted to beg for the numbers to go back up but the other part knew that his faith was soon to be made sight!

Those numbers finally indicated that my Grandfather had been taken from this earth. With his last earthly breath he was holding our hands and hearing our voices...and with the next one he was face-to-face with Jesus Christ! The feeling in my heart at that moment is almost indescribable!

I don't know what the moments were like during his birth...and I only know bits and pieces about his childhood as they have been told to me. But the one thing that I am honored by is that God allowed me to be present for the moment ordained for my grandfather before the beginning of time! I will never forget it...I will always treasure it! I look forward to hugging him again after my moments on this earth are done.